Seven Swords Sexual Debate
by Royazali
Summary: The Links are back! No, its not a sequel. Everything seems fine until Seasons finds a certain FanFic. Said FanFic leads to questions. Questions that usually get answered with, "Oh you know... When a Mommy and a Daddy love each other very much..."


**Don't ask me why I made this. I was bored, I had already had this conversation before, and I just felt like it. Enjoy!**

* * *

Seasons stared at the computer screen in utter disgust. "Honestly, where do they come up with this stuff…?"

"Whats up?" asked Toony.

He shook his head. "I'll tell you when you're older…"

"You're not on that weird website again, are you?" asked Young Link. "Darn it, you guys, quit ganging up on me!" he yelled as Ocarina and Twilight joined forces to bring him down.

The three of them were playing Super Smash Brothers Melee and since Young Link was in the lead, the two older Links decided to ban together to defeat the boomerang throwing menace.

"Ocarina, get the Pokeball!"

"Got it- Crap…" He sighed as a Goldeen appeared.

"Ha ha! Take this!"

"Will you guys keep it down?" asked a pissed off Brunette. He kept running through the room looking for something but to no avail. "Dammit, where the hell are my Doritos?"

Knight looked up from his book, "I believe Dark took them again."

"Damn him! That jerk thinks he can just walk all over us and get away with anything! Just you wait. Next time I see that slimy bastard I'll-"

"You'll what?"

"I'll bash him in the face with a wok!"

"Good luck with that…"

Seasons turned his attention back to the computer as he lost interest in the conversation. Seriously, what the Farore was wrong with the people on the internet these days? Crazy yaoi pairings and incest? Where was the world headed? He sighed and was just about to log off when something caught his eye. Curious, he clicked on it as he read the title:

The Legend of Zelda: Seven Swords Saga.

"Hey guys, come check this out! Seasons found this weird story," said Toony from behind him.

"Shut up!" ordered Seasons, slightly embarrassed. "No I didn't!"

Ocarina paused the game, "Are you on that weird website again? Fan something?"

"N-No…"

Brunette grinned, thoughts of payback entering his mind. "What's this? Does Seasons have a dark little secret he doesn't want to share? You're not looking up anything you shouldn't are you?"

"Of course not!" he said thoroughly flustered. "Anyway, just forget what Toony said."

"I wanna know what Seasons does in his spare time! Let me see!" said Young Link excitedly.

Twilight stood up and stopped Seasons from exiting out of the site. "What's this? Seven Swords Saga? Sounds interesting…"

"Hey, guys…!"

Knight smiled, "I suppose I should check this out as well…"

And so the Links sat and read the entire Seven Swords Saga. When they were done, they were left staring at the screen in silence.

Brunette was the first to comment.

"What the hell was that?-!"

"I don't think I like this very much," said Ocarina. "Its… I don't know…"

"They got my personality all wrong!" complained Young Link. "I don't act like that!"

Toony looked around confused, "I don't see what the problem is. I liked it."

Knight smiled in amusement, "The things young people come up with these days…"

"Well I thought it was wrong. The thing sounded like some kind of weird yaoi or something…" mumbled Twilight.

"How'd you get a yaoi out of that?" asked Ocarina.

"Think about it. Brunette and Toony would definitely be a couple-"

"Excuse me?-!"

"I don't know about Knight or Seasons, but you, me, and Young Link are definitely a love triangle."

Ocarina and Young Link looked at each other awkwardly.

"But… That's just _wrong_!"

"Yeah! He's like, he _is _me," said Ocarina. "That's like…like…" He trailed off, disgusted with where his mind was going.

Young Link punched him, "Stop thinking about it!"

"Its Seasons fault!" he whined. "_He's _the one looking this stuff up online."

All eyes turned to Seasons whose face was bright red.

"Listen! I do _not _look-this-stuff-up! It just popped up and-"

"Did you read the rating?" asked Knight simply.

"Well…no."

"What about the genre?" he continued.

Seasons shoulders drooped, "No…"

"Exactly."

Seasons turned off the computer and slammed it shut. Without saying a word, he picked up the laptop and left.

"You think he's mad?" asked Toony.

"Nah… He's just upset that we made fun of him. He'll get over it soon." Knight smiled, "Anyway, wasn't that an interesting story?"

"Only in the fact that it made all of us sound gay," muttered Brunette. "Seriously, who has that much spare time on their hands?"

"It had an interesting plot though," said Ocarina thoughtfully. "Working together to solve the world's problems… Wouldn't that be something?"

"As long as we can skip the pairings crap," stated Young Link. "That took it a little far…"

Twilight looked at his young friend curiously, "So, Young Link, if you had to choose…"

"Huh?"

"Would it be me or Ocarina?"

His eyes went wide, "Lets not talk about his!"

"Seriously though, who would it be?"

Ocarina leaned in closer to hear better. He was curious as well.

"I, well, that is, um… Knight!" The young Link turned towards Knight for guidance but he was no where to be seen. Apparently he had left shortly after Seasons. _Crap!_

"Which one is it, kid?" asked Brunette sarcastically. He was enjoying this.

"I don't know! Why does it matter?-!"

"If you cant decide then say you like them both!" said Toony happily.

"It's a threesome!"

Young Link glared at Brunette, "It is not!"

"Ah, then why are you blushing?"

"I am _not _blushing!"

"Its okay, Young Link," smiled Toony. "I have threesomes all the time!"

Twilight, Ocarina, Young Link, and Brunette stared at him in shock.

"W-What?"

"_Toony!_"

The smallest Link looked confused. "What? All I said was I have threesomes. Tetra, Aryll, and I used to go out all the time."

Twilight looked disgusted, "That's _incest_!"

"Incest? All we did was go fishing by the docks…"

"Eh?"

"What's incest anyway?" he asked innocently.

The Links sweat-dropped.

"Im out of here…" Brunette turned his back on them and walked out. He had better things to do then to bother with Toony.

"Hey guys, whats incest?"

Young Link frowned, "Don't you know anything? Incest is when you do it with your-"

Ocarina covered his mouth to prevent him from speaking. "Anyway, don't you have to be somewhere? Like-" His face blanched as Young Link licked his palm. Disgusted, he pulled his hand away.

"Like I was saying…" continued Young, "Incest is when you do it with you sister."

"Or your brother," finished Twilight. "Or basically any close family member."

"Oohh…" Toony paused. "Do what?"

They face-palmed.

"You know what? Im going to go before this conversation gets any weirder. Good bye…" Ocarina left the room without even bothering to turn the game off.

Now it was just Twilight, Young Link and Toony.

"So what do you do with your close family members?" asked Toony curiously.

"You know… _That…_" said Young Link awkwardly.

"That?"

Twilight sighed, "Didn't they teach you anything in that school of yours?"

"I never went to school."

"Well that explains a lot…" mumbled Young Link.

"Anyway, when two people love each other very much they uh… They…um…"

"They what?"

Young Link blushed, "You know what? I just realized I have somewhere I need to be. See ya, guys!" And with that he ran off.

Twilight watched him go horrified. _He just left me here! That jerk! _He looked down at Toony. _Oh crap…_

"Hey, Twilight…"

"Y-Yes?"

"Where do babies come from?"

There it was. The question. The others knew that it was coming and so they had left. If only he had been that smart… And now he was stuck here, with an expectant Toony, facing the dreaded question.

What was a Link to do?

"Ask Knight."

**X**

And so, two days later, Toony finally discovered where babies came from.

Knight smiled, "_I _make them of course."

The End

* * *

**Nice little surprise ending for ya there, lol. Man, I should just make a series of these little one-shots, huh? Or perhaps I should get serious and make a sequel...? ^.^ Anyway, once again, partial credit goes to Yoko Kiara. (Didn't think I would do this, huh?)**

**Till next Time!**


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